Joshua June 7th, 2007

Incredible Erik. I think what you've pinpointed here are the issues that post-legalism guys like myself struggle with the most. We certainly want to believe that God is a loving father who won't get pissed at us if we f up but I think the difficulty is in reconciling how we feel when we do the shitty stuff with that message. I am starting to think that while God cannot be angered by our actions He can be grieved. If the image of him as a nurturing father is accurate, and I had one so I can easliy run with that analogy, then it ismust be painful for Him when we try to make it under our own steam or give other gods power over us like you said Erik. I know that in honesty there is healing and at the very least when I flesh this stuff out in prayer with Jesus I always feel better. That holds true of the community of the saints. If I am honest about my addiction to porn or my tendency towards taking the path of least resistance most of the time then there can be dialogue. When there is dialogue there is "mutual" confession and in that "mutual" confession there is Jesus. The biggest relief for me is that He already knows I'm not going to get it right and He assures me of His love in spite of it. That makes me want to put him first because, again I'm plaguiarizing you here Erik, none of the other Gods reciprocate my dedication or sacrifice at all. Thanks Erik for putting yourself out there and kick starting the dialogue.

Wayne June 8th, 2007

Erik -

I don't know whether to thank you for tis post, or be royally p.o.'d at you for it. It goes to the heart of my struggle, and that hurts. There's so many things I put before Jesus – work, money, food… the list goes on and on and on. And I hate that it's such a long list. And I hate that I feel like my list rules me so often. And I hate that all too many times I give these things power over me when I know that they're going to kick me to the curb.

I know what Jesus has done for me. I know that he loves me more than my list does, yet I still chase after the things that are worthless. I'm living Romans 7 and I hate it.

Ultimately, I'm thankful that you wrote this post. I need to be confronted with my circumstances. Pray for me as I face my "gods".

Chemical Erik June 8th, 2007

I hate to push this into another level, but it's where I'm struggling. I would ask how we react to people around us serving the same gods we have served in the past (and in some cases still make an occasional sacrifice).

I teach 5th/6th grade Sunday School and will struggle talking about issue I've had in the past bacause I'm worried about what the kids and their parents might think of me. Specific issues I've not been open about are my disrespect for stupid people in authority, and the fact that my daughter's age > years of marriage to my wife. I know I have stories to share that will help these kids, but my fear of my own junk keeps me for doing what God has set before me.

Erik/Josh/Wayne – what does this mean to you?

Erik June 8th, 2007

Wayne,

I didn't intend for my words to hurt, just the opposite actually.

God loves me while I'm "making love to my tonic and gin." My realization of that is what makes me want to kick the booze.

It ends up being the choice between two lovers. One that takes and never gives, and One that gives while I'm taking (even if I never give back). But unless you realize the depth of His love and lack of judgment even while you're in the very act of cheating on Him, the other lovers tend to be more attractive (or as Yoda said about the dark side of the force…"quicker, easier, more seductive").

So just let Him love you and it will all work out. My 2 cents.

Wayne June 8th, 2007

Chemical -

I relate to what you say about holding back for fear of what others will think. It's really hard to put myself – and my past – out there for others to see, because then they'll have the chance to judge me.

I struggle with telling my story of how I eventually became a believer for that very reason. But, on those occasions when I've taken a chance and shared the story I've been surprised that people don't judge me. They're more interested in what God has done rather than what I've done. He uses my failure – inspite of me.

Hope that all makes sense. Let me know if it doesn't.

Wayne June 8th, 2007

Erik -

Thanks. I really appreciate your insights. Keep 'em coming.

God used the original post (in conjunction with a number of other things in my life recently) to get my attention. It is a good thing.

Chemical Erik June 10th, 2007

Wayne – Perfect sense, I'm standing right beside brother! I know for me, I had a hard time getting close to Christ, because I knew too many Christians. Now I wish God would allow me to act in way that provokes more people to take a closer look Jesus, the way a few people I encountered made me look a little closer. By His grace, I occasionaly do act like I want, but more often than not I blow it on this issue.

Erik – I think you should hear the basic story of my uncle. It starts with Grandparent I've never met. My grandmother was hit and killed by a drunk driver in a VW Beatle when my dad was in high school. My grandfather than drank himself to death (wiskey, if it matters). While preparing for the funeral, this uncle got in a fight with my eldest uncle's wife about how they were going to split up the things. My uncle grabbed the 1/2 empty wiskey bottle off the top of the fridge and told her "this is all I need". That bottle still sits on his fridge, and he hasn't taken a drink since. I think I've heard the story 50 times. It holds me back every time I've had few and I'm thinking about a few more. It might be the reason I've never had a real problem with alcohol. I don't know if that will really help anything, but felt the need to share.

Jordan (w.m.s.n.b.s) June 11th, 2007

Um, how old were you during this scotch experience. I'm thinking it might have been statutory drinking.

Carol June 11th, 2007

I'm so glad and relieved I found this place….

Jordan (w.m.s.n.b.s) June 11th, 2007

I know, I know, everyone is so deep and contemplative, and I'm just a turd. But it was funny, no?

Regular Jeff June 12th, 2007

Erik,
Here here. I raise my O'douls to you. My love of drinking was still there even when it was costing me everything. There is nothing quite like the 1/2 pint of whatever just to quit shaking so you can button a shirt to go to work. You are right. She is a bitch that will suck the soul out of you if you truly love her enough.

Great post. Keep it up, my brutha!!!

Jordan (w.m.s.n.b.s) June 12th, 2007

:'( I like abstinence too, I really do! Promise!

Mike June 14th, 2007

Heavy…..

Casey June 14th, 2007

Erik, that was so well articulated. I've missed reading your stuff.

Erik June 15th, 2007

Thanks.

Steve Brown Etc. » Blog Archive » Etcetera - 05.13.08 - Dis-Orientation May 14th, 2008

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Pastor Nar August 6th, 2008

So very well said!

Gerardina December 6th, 2008

What a refreshing read – not at all what I am used to from all other Christian sites. Thank you for your transparency…it encourages me to shed my mask and finally exhale. Yay, I don't have to be perfect anymore (doing happy dance here)…Thanks, Erik.