Steve Brown is an old white guy, author, broadcaster and seminary professor who's sick of religion. And this is his blog.

Blog DescriptionThe Old White Guy Blog

Hustling the Product!

Steve Brown September 23rd, 2008

I spent a number of days at The International Christian Retail Show here in Orlando. It used to be called The Christian Booksellers Association convention, but it's a lot bigger than books. In fact, by any stretch of the imagination, if it can be called "Christian" and if it can be sold, it was there…statues, jewelry, clothing, paintings, computers, software programs, candy, dieting programs, films, music, books and a whole lot more.

Aisles and aisles of booths of bric-a-brac and books…It was overwhelming.

Frankly, I planned to write you a kind of funny/critical post about trinket salesmen and Christian hustlers. I wanted to tell you about the convention a number of years ago that introduced "God's Airline." (They had the shell of an airplane on the floor of the exhibit hall and promised to play only Christian music and serve only apple juice on their flights.) And then, another year, a cowboy came riding in on a horse to promote a book on cowboys or something.

This year, there was a man dressed up as Jesus-sandals and all-walking around on the convention floor and giving out pamphlets (WWJD…What would Jesus Distribute? Sorry…Just a joke!).

A friend of mine ran into him and said, "Hey, I read your book!"

"Did you like it?" Jesus asked.

"Some of it, but if you ever need a good editor, I'm your man."

There were new Bible translations (I guess the previous three million translations missed something), a bunch of new books on marriage (I guess the three billion previous books on marriage missed something) and a book on humility written by a guy who was giving out foot washing towels with his name and the title of his book on them.

I could hardly wait to write this post. It was going to be really funny and caustic and, believe me, there was plenty of material at the convention.

That's when Jesus messed up everything.

And how did you get the material?

I was there and saw it myself. That's how!

And what were you doing there?

Well…uh… I have this new book and the publisher wanted me to do interviews and sign books.

And what is your book about?

Actually, it isn't a new book. It's the new edition of an old book with great new stories and a study guide. Is that cool, or what?

That wasn't the question. What is it about?

It's about prayer. Okay?

All the previous millions of books on prayer missed something?

Well, no, not exactly. But they wouldn't say it the way I said it and, besides, the publisher thought it was worth doing.

In other words, you're sitting in front of the computer getting ready to write caustic remarks making fun of people at a convention hustling product.

Yes.

And you were at the same convention hustling product?

I didn't think about it that way. It is a bit hypocritical, isn't it?

So you're going to miss one of the funniest posts ever written about "wild and crazy" Christians at a convention hustling product.You would have loved it!

But don't blame me. It's Jesus' fault.

Paul wrote, "Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things" (Romans 2:1).

Ouch!

So I repent.

Have you seen the bumper sticker that reads: "I like Jesus. It's his followers that drive me nuts"? I'm going to get one of them (I probably could have purchased one at the convention) and create another one to go right under that one. It would read: "And I'm one of them. Sorry."

Do you know the reason our witness doesn't have any power? It's because we forget that the witness isn't about us, our purity, our wisdom or our insights. The truth is that, if it is, we're in serious trouble.

I have a friend (you would know his name…he's a famous Bible teacher) who was introduced at a Bible convention this way:

You're very fortunate to be here. I've been asked to give an introduction and the man I'm introducing to you has spoken to audiences the world over. His message has changed millions of lives and his presence has brought peace, repentance and love to very difficult situations throughout the church. He is profound, wise and compassionate, touching people everywhere with his message.

His name is Jesus.

And here is _______________ to tell you about him.

And so I started this post one way and it ended up being something else altogether.

Did you hear about the arrogant young preacher who went into the pulpit quite sure that his sermon would be published in the "Great Sermons of Christendom." It ended up being one of the worst sermons anybody in the congregation had ever heard.

As the young man came down from the pulpit, there were tears of shame in his eyes and a dear saintly lady said to him, not unkindly, "Son, if you had entered the pulpit the way you left it, you would have left it the way you entered it."

Am I going to the convention again next year? Are you crazy?

Of course, I am!

But, next year, I'll laugh at us and not at them. We really are a funny bunch…

…and Jesus is quite fond of us.

You too!

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9 Responses to “Hustling the Product!”

Mike Maroon September 24th, 2008

Wow. That's pretty humbling. Had to bring up the old "glass houses" thing did ya? Thanks. I needed it. Really.

Heroes « Chuck Mullis September 25th, 2008

[…] more brutally honest about himself and he's harder on himself. Take a moment and read his article posted on his blog yesterday. Some people don't like him, and that's ok. There are moments when I […]

Holiday Longing September 25th, 2008

I was really enjoying the caustic humor!

And, since I was NOT part of the convention riff raff, I feel free to make this comment:

When will Christian bookstores EVER start providing decent religious art and get rid of all the tacky stuff??

Ok, so I'm judgmental. I'll repent (when they ever get decent art in Christian bookstores….!)

Ant brooks September 27th, 2008

I am amazed at how many people are making a living out of Jesus.
What is the difference between these people and the temple moneychangers?

The objective of all these suppliers and shopkeepers is to get rich.

I find it funny that if I want to better my income I am branded 'worldly' and not being grateful. If I am successful then I am 'blessed'.

Having lived in 3 countries I have found one thing in common. Christian employers are usually the worst - low pay, long hours, no advancement and useless family members in positions of importance.
Their standard of work is often low and their charges high.

I can no longer afford Christian material. I now buy at yard sales or used shops. Anyway how many people have heard of J.c.Ryle and Francis Schaeffer?

We are truly in the Laodacian Church Age.

I listen to your show on the way to work - Moody Radio FL

John Elzinga September 30th, 2008

To Steve, Ant, and others:

You point out an interesting dilema. We are faced with the ultimate Catch-22. So, allow me to lament a little: You produce a work, whether it be a book, video series, or trinket. You want others to know about the work so that they can grow from it or be blessed by it. But they don't know about the work so you have to submit to marketing it so that you can get the word out. But you despise the "materialistic," "worldly," "salesy," and very expensive methodologies you have to use to get the word out. (IE: what you experinced at the convention)

It seems, especially if you're an author, you have to be a "rock star" if you want anything you do to be considered. By rock star, I mean, a mega church pastor, a seminary professor who gets a lot of traction from their credibility, or a radio talk show host. Someone who has a platform with great exposure. (there are of course, some exceptions, Donald Miller being one of them)

Three and a half years ago I wrote a book and created a video series called "Thank God I'm Not a Pharisee…or am I." As we began to market the book and video series and spend a lot of money toward that effort, the number one question was "who is John Elzinga?" It is a legitimate question. What the question really implys is "is this guy a rock star?" Well, the real answer is that I'm just a guy who has a little bit of knowledge and a fair amount of expereince, and who has insights into how Christians treat each other.

Then, when you run out of money, well, too bad, that's it.

Sooo, to ant, this isn't a money changer deal. What Jesus did when he turned over the money changes is expose the fallacy of what those money changers where attempting to do. They were forcing those who were down and out to purchase an exceptable offereing (dove, lamb, etc) because the Pharisees, Scribes, Rabbi's of the world didn't accept their spotted offering. In other words, you had to pay to get forgiven and cleansed. Somehow their animal's blood was better than yours.

To Steve, I totally get where you're coming from. I have felt the same thing as you, yet, realize in the end, that I am part of the whole deal myself.

I wish there was another answer….but maybe it's just good enough that we struggle with it, and work through the tension of it, rather than simply accept it.

In that struggle, may God be pleased and glorified!

jefe September 30th, 2008

Well said, Steve.

Now I think I'll kick back with my Jesus-Loves-Me beer mug, a nice Arturo Fuente resting in my WWJD ashtray, and read the latest installment in the Left-Behind series… all beneath the serenity of my newest Thomas Kinkade.

(sigh!)

Ant brooks October 1st, 2008

Well, when any author/creator moves from the initial offering to the coffee-mug, mouse-pad, calendar, …. for kids/teens etc, I assume Jesus is no longer involved.

I think the most ridiculous offering of late was the 'read-the -Bible in 90 days' Bible. I heard the man on an early show on Moody about 2 years ago. This is my paraphrase. " I read the Bible in 90 days, got saved (or vice versa) and then started an organisation to spread the idea." At least he can't make a calendar or planner out of this one. It doesn't say much for Zondervan for publishing the Bible either.

Nancy Guthrie October 2nd, 2008

I so appreciate the honestly and authenticity of what you've written here, Steve.

I saw you at the convention. I was there too, wearing a few hats—as an author, a publicists, and also handling media relations for the show itself which, as you can imagine, has it challenges. It is an easy target.

I noticed in the weeks leading up to the convention and even during it, that there were several bloggers who wrote about it in very condescending terms—mocking the many strange items sold there (and there are plenty) as well as pointing the finger at all of the other people who were there obviously only to make a few bucks off of God. I didn't get an answer when I pushed back to ask, "And why are you there?" even though I knew they were there to promote their own products. Somehow it is always easier for us to question the motives (and certainly the taste) of other people while assuming the best of our own. We all have such a hard time seeing the log in our own eye, don't we?

I know for me, the highlights of the week included talking to Os Guinness, shaking the hand of John Perkins, hearing J.I. Packer pray, and having lunch with Randy Alcorn. These are people I respect tremendously, and I think their very presence tells us the convention isn't all about commercialism of Jesus.

I'm not writing with the intention of justifying much of what is peddled in the name of Jesus at the convention. In truth, much of what I see (including what I see in the mirror) is troubling. But there are a couple of things people should keep in mind about the show:
1. what is kitsch to me may be a very meaningful reflection and reminder of faith to someone else
2. Under law, CBA cannot refuse a company that wants to exhibit if they can prove that a few stores carry their products. But just because it's on the exhibit floor doesn't mean it is sold through many if any Christian stores.
3. I don't know anyone else's heart or motives. But I do know my own. And unfortunately my own heart is "only evil all the time" (Genesis 6:5)

Thanks again for the transparency. See you there next year. Maybe next year's highlights for me will include catching a diet coke with Steve Brown!

P.S. I love listening to the Brown Sessions while I walk in the park. Could you get busy and get some more recorded?

George January 1st, 2009

i think you should have been funny and caustic first…then repented. This would have been fodder for a future blog on grace and forgiveness. Besides, i could have used a good laugh!

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