A Doxology in Darkness - Chapter 4 - Unearthing

Sharon July 10th, 2008

I started seeing Ruth as soon as our busy schedules would allow. I truly had no idea what to expect from our time together, but I didn’t really care that much. I just needed to feel some relief, no matter what shape that relief may take.

I could never have predicted the life-changing healing I would come to experience.

Funny how we often look back on dramatic periods of time, and cannot for the life of us imagine what we were feeling just moments before the big event. It is as though the hug … (Read More)

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A Doxology in Darkness - Chapter 3 - Groping

Sharon July 2nd, 2008

As the end of November approached, I was becoming frustrated by my deepening depression. I felt so weak and helpless. My embarrassment at my inability to get a hold of myself was eating me up inside. Pride has always been one of my biggest struggles, so of course I want to be perceived as strong, and “together.” I didn’t want myself or anyone else to recognize just how quickly I was drowning.

And so it was that I came to find myself driving down the road that night, screaming at God that … (Read More)

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A Doxology in Darkness - Chapter 2 - Fasting

Sharon June 26th, 2008

Immediately following the breakup, I went into a tailspin. I was a veritable mess.

Averaging about two to three hours of sleep per night, my skin became sallow, and my eyes were ringed by dark circles. I could barely swallow any solid food, so was relegated to protein shakes, and very simple things. Consequently, my five foot three inch frame whittled down from 110 pounds, to 97 pounds in a matter of about two weeks. I looked horrid: older, drawn and beaten down.

Heartbreak. Such a classic th … (Read More)

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A Doxology in Darkness - Chapter 1 - Screaming

Sharon June 18th, 2008

Wailing is one thing, but vocal cord ripping shrieks of pain are another.

I drove down the road, screaming until my sides ached, and my throat felt as though it were sure to bleed if I continued much longer. As I began to pound the steering wheel, the inarticulate screams took the shape of words, and I was stunned to hear those words were directed straight at God.

“You aren’t good!!” I shrieked. “You’re a liar! You’re not good! You aren’t kind! It’s all a lie!!! You don’t wan … (Read More)

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